Cold hands, warm shart.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
