Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
