Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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