chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
