i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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