I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You were trust falling into bushes
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