my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
