My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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