Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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