I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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