I feel like abortions should bother me more
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
