Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
