i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
