this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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