You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
