Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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