It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
