Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
