when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
