I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
