Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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