you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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