You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She announced her abortion via fbk
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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