i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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