we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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