Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well I just put wine in my tea
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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