dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
