Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
