my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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