dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
