scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
