Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
