her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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