If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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