i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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