3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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