2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
