I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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