What a fucking waste of an outfit
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
