"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
