Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize