my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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