Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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