Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
