Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
