Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
