What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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