Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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