Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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