You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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