There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
