My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
