just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
