We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
